The guy that comforts you and brings you up when you are down,
The one that turns your day inside out,
The one that buys you gifts,
The guy that you cant stop thinking about,
I want to be that guy that always puts a smile on your face and whenever a frown appears its only because such powerful emotions expectations are high,
Baby I wanna be the guy that you marry,
I wanna be the guy that is true to you,
I want to be the guy that you miss when away,
The guy that has kids with you,
The guy that makes love to you,
I wanna be the guy that buys you those weird late night foods when you are pregnant,
The guy that you go to church with,
The guy that you love and loves you…
Baby I wanna be the guy that has all your emotions
this world was made of one an another,
blazin the j and pass it to a brother.
live to never regret an the good times, never forget.
good things come to those whom wait
read the pitch before u step to the plate.
listen to my advice, n dont think twice
live to love n love to live
you make mistakes, learn to forgive
with true love there is no obsticle too great,
for love will make you conquor your fate.
you never know what you have till its gone is what they say.
but why must we push to get to that point anyway.
Love whom you are and whom youre with
for tomorrow, reality may be a myth.
I met this one girl, not from this world
the one that becomes your alternate world
love at first sight, with auora so bright, she’s my light, at night.
she came as someone id least expect
but we share this love ill never forget.
my lil “brown eyed girl”, she takes me for a whirl.
she opened my eyes and live in the skies
heaven sparkles in your eyes, n with a smile that’ll be my demise.
all the butterflies, that blow away all my highs.
they say time heals, but it hasnt how my heart feels
three years since we last touched
making time spent unforgetably clutched
with you I finally become whole, life without you started to take its toll.
ive lived without you too long, n this i must admit too…
i wrote this whole poem to say ill do anything to be with you.
I slept and woke with an image of you in my head. I thought of you, thought about texting you and calling you. Thought of how you were doing and what you were thinking. Thought of the feelings I used to get when you were near, when you were laying ther, naked next to me in bed. I thought of the good times, and how the out weighed the bad. I thought of what this world woulda been like if I have never seen ur smile. How tragic, how life changing it would have been if I never had the pleasure of gazing into your beautiful eyes, a breath taking portrait of absolute beauty, truely God’s master piece. The priceless portrait of the once in a lifetime. Time and time again, you have proven to be more than just a friend. The adventures we embarked on and the thousands we missed. The heart a lonely hunter, and the safari ended with u. The sometimes life long hunt ended short when I first looked into your eyes. Oh the stars that shined in your eyes, how they lit up my late night skies. For days I would get lost in your eyes, only to snap back to reality looking at you staring into mine. I fell in love at an early age, but I couldnt help it. I cannot help how my heart feels towards someone. Her image is forever engraved into my soul. Her beauty, her curves, she is truly God’s master piece. The love, compassion, and lust I have for her at time aew unbearable. She is my love, my heart, my dream, and my life. Without her I am no one, without her I am but a stranger in a crowd of faceless people. When alone at night, I look out my window into the starlit sky in order to see only a fraction of the beauty that I see in her…
Okay so to give a little foreward on this story this girl we will call her snorlax, yeah like off of poke’mon so go ahead and get excite. Well I met Snorlax about 2 years ago through a good friend of mine. We hung out some talked a decent amount and lost contact like 8 months ago for roughly 6 months. Well I randomly run into her at a bar one night and i decided to strike up a conversation with her because I was in the mood for some talking and rekindling a lost relationship. Okay reason we lost contact is because we went to a pimps and whoes party and i went out with some newly made friends and i go back in and he she is striping or half way there and gives me the look of death for even daring to step foot back into this house…so I left cuz i was sober and if she was gonna act that way, fine she can have a train run on her ass…well okay so now back to when we met at the bar after not speaking for 6 months. Like i said i struck up a conversation with her and one of the first things to come from her besides a couple of compliments smiles and a total erotic stare down from head to toe. The glare that says i wanna piece of that, she perceedes to tell that she is a born again virgin. That’s cool i respect that, I dont believe you can do that and I dont really value virginity, normally it just means bad sex and i got to play teacher a few times…but a born again virgin, that means she has had sexual relations before but doesn’t desire them now till she is ready to loose her virginity again or for the 3rd or fourth time, nobody really knows. Hell I don’t even think she knows. But she tells me this while I am trying to keep myself from laughing…so I decided to give her a shot I mean why not? People can change, I mean I have morphed into a totally new me the past year almost now really. So I invited Snorlax out to my friends house out off of Bonny Oaks Exit. We get to drinking, we had margaritas and beer for a few hours. My good friends girlfriend starts asking Snorlax some questions because the born again virgin conversation came up. Well at this point she has had quite a few and well the question that came up was last time she got laid…of course being in the drunken altered mindset she admitted the truth where as a lie would have normally taken its place. She had sex this week…hmmm now wait I thought she said she was this born again virgin like a couple months ago and she had sex this week and is still yes still claiming to be a born again virgin? My mind started racing, hows come I cant’t get that lucky, why does she have to make up shit? But then I realized, ohh wait she’s Jewish, their rules must be different…so here I am at my buddies house sober about to wake her snoring ass up so I can take her to her car and then I can go home, or should I leave her here…? Hmmm…what shall I do…
My world used to be a beautiful happy place. Fresh clean air, beautiful crisp water, and always a warming ray of sunlight beaming down onto me. Then I met her… she almost seemed too good to be true at first, but after the years past I saw her for her true state. The demons that burned inside of her and ate her soul, I soon learned would try to devour mine. I could only fight them for so long before I found myself lying there, in the pits of despair. My beautiful world had been taken over by what seemed to be Satan himself. As if there was no good left in the world, and just as I thought the smoke from burning world around me, would steal my last agonizing breath, there from the burning flames you rescued me. I had lost all hope and the will to fight the horrors that had broken me down. But you, my angel, my darling, my baby, you rescued me, and I do know where I would be with out. I would be dead from that soul sucker. She tried to steal my soul and make it her own, but you my dear, you pulled me from her undead clutches and brought life back into my lungs once again. It was the most beautiful sight seeing you with your beautiful ocean blue eyes, which sparkle every time I look into them. You have the eyes of the ocean, and the smile of an angel. The smile that no one can look away from and lets me know that everything, is going to be alright… As if rescuing me wasn’t enough, now you my punkin’ have rebuilt my world from ground up and I must say…the air seems fresher, the water crisper, and the rays of sunlight seem to be smiling down my way…Thank You my dear for all that you have done so far and all the greatness that is to become of us and bring us together…. ………This is my rescue story…………
Alot of you have asked me and wondered how I got the passion to write such powerful blogs…Well today I am going to answer a few of the questions you guys have been sending me through email. Which by the way thanks for even taking the time to do so. Okay so lets start this off right, now I do not have a degree in English, and no I am not going to school for English or writing. I love my job as a graphic designer for ARS, they are letting me go back to school thanks God. No I have not taken any writing classes, and you know I just take this as a compliment that you guys think that I have done all of these English things yet I haven’t. But I will say this, yes I was very passionate about my writings and yes they all mostly were for someone whom inspired me to change my life around. I wrote these while realizing how much I loved her and see I just was able to find words for how much I cared but it still didnt come anywhere close to how strong I really felt. I tried my best to let her and everyone know how much I loved her and it brought tears to most of you and awe to alot. I am pretty proud of that, too bad the person they were for didnt give two shits about them and didnt think anything good about them…Great appreciation huh? But when you love someone that much…idk I guess you are able to write like that. I loved her alot, always will, she is the type that will always hold a special place in my heart till the day I die, we went through so much crap together. I think we loved each other too much in the begining (yeah as is that is possible). Our love though was always very loving and passionate, and intense. We went through some serious lows and highs, we changed each other for the better, and became even better when together. I do miss the love we shared, but hey a new one will come again, haha even in my poetry I don’t act like it. It’s life and love its just a roller coaster. You know we did have alot of little bickers but thats because she would do small little things to piss me off and Id sometimes do the same to her. She was insecure with herself but claimed I was the insecure one, see she couldnt get over herself and her pride so she had this huge outter wall that consumed her. But what she didnt realize is that in every relationship u always fight over the dumbest shit and thats why you fight, because its dumb and you love each other. You know its funny though how when you get into a relationship you just get some comfy with routine that it messes up your relationship…I so did that and so do alot of guys that I know. Whats also weird is I never really saw all the things she used to do for me that were her way of saying I love you. See I expressed it more through writings and gifts I made and verbally. She would say some things verbally but she could never find the words…but it hit me after we split ways that so many things she used to do, I overlooked but they were all her small and cute way of saying I love you, and for this I am sorry for. I wish I saw them at the time but oh well better late than never haha. Now a few of you have asked if I miss her and do I still love her/want to be with her….? Hmmm….Do I miss her? Heck yeah I do, I mean she was basically my best friend and lover, we had almost everything in common and did everything together. Yeah other people can always take her place but its still not the same, yet anyways. Do I still love her? Yes I do, and I always will, even though she doesn’t know this because I told her to stay outta my life (yeah weird move but I was heartbroken and said things I didnt want nor mean) I would still always be there for her in a heartbeat. Anything she ever needed I’d still be there for her just because she was family and best friend and lover so thats like an eternal bond that cant be broken no matter what is said and done. Do I still want her or would I still be with her…well that’s for the readers to figure out of course, that’s like telling the ending to a great movie but also predicting the future…but I will say this…she left on her own terms, she played mind games and tried to be able to keep me around whilst she goes out and plays around…doesnt work that way long…As you all have read I tried to stay with her and tried to be with her, but she ran away in search of older (as in like 5-7 years older) ugly men that look like predators (as in the kind that stalk little kids Corrie*). That still live at home with their parents and look old enough to be her dad and dont know how to dress, looks like havent even heard the word hygene….but hey after me I guess a total scum bag is what she needs right?
I loved you, but what was it worth? Nothing but a hole where my heart should be, 10 feet in girth. Time lost, and lessons learned. Nothing more to show than a broken heart earned. I took care of of you and what did I get? Nothing but your thirst for more and a puddle of sweat. Curse the Heavens and the kingdom above, curse the firey pits of Hell and horde below. Curse your Heavenly smile and stargazed eyes, curse you burning heart for it will never escape from the black hole you created for yourself. Time is of the essence for the tides of rebirth shall swallow me again and wash me ashore on a new adventure. Escape your hole, for you are meant to drown in the tides of everyone else’s excrement. Heed my warnings and this will be a first, if you would have only would have listened to me, but still your name I shall not curse. No, just your evil heart, and your black soul, for your intentions were never true, just mischievous and uncanny. Was it some evil spirit that took over you, or is this what you have become? Break free of the evil spirit if that is the case, but say in your damned pit if it’s your new face. This is a one time offer to be rescued, to be safe and secure once more, for Im ship shape and ready for anew, hurry up because very soon…I’ll be leaving without you.
I thought it all was too good to be true; I let my heart and soul go and gave them to you.I told you they were my gift to you, and that they were the most valuable items you will ever receive in this life.I told you that they are more worthy than any amounts of money, more treasured than anything material.You smiled at me with a crooked grin and told me that you would never abuse them nor trample them.I trusted you and loved you to the fullest; no one could have ever taken your place in my heart or eyes.You were my one little special euphoria on this planet.You took my places I have never been and lately have been missing.I remember those late nights just laying and looking into your eyes getting lost for hours, without a word.Getting lost in the seas of green and blue in your eyes then swimming up to the surface to see the stars sparkling.I would always try to take a deep breath but always choke in the overwhelming feelings.The loss of words was always a phenomenal feeling for me, since I would always had something to say, the fact you took that ability away from me it captivated me.I remember the carefree days where we would just be two best friends running or biking, and the occasional going out on the town.We always found a way to make the most out of nothing.The feeling of finally finding your soul mate was an amazing feeling.The fact that your soul was entangled in mine and mine in yours is an incredible feat.How rare it is for people to find that in a whole life and yet ours was found so early, perhaps too early and still too different when our souls were the match and not our mindsets.Our souls and bodies are what kept us together through the undesirable and often too frequent bad times.Every breath I took was of you, every heartbeat I had said your name, all my dreams where of you…You were my heart and soul, my light in the dark and blanket in the cold.When ever it seemed life turned the lights off and stripped me bare, you were always there to light a candle and bring me a blanket of love to keep me going and get me on my feet.You were my shield of evil and helped me straighten out my life and keep it that way.I always treated you like my queen as a thank you.But that was never good enough, you had to try and get power and control.You played your mind games to break me and get me to crawl back to you.Your insecurities and immaturity is was tore us apart…the torturing me for your own pleasure, my heart could only take so much bleeding…my heart and soul will always burn for you and love you, but neither can take bleeding and the torture anymore…good-bye
Sometimes I wonder when I look up at the stars if you’re looking up at the same night sky.Then an unfathomable peace of mind comes over me, knowing you’re under the same night sky.Connected by the stars that shine over us both, paths forged since the days of the cosmos.When I look up I see our stars and feel you in my heart and soul.The star so bright and beautiful, every night it seems to get brighter, it never burns out, it just gets more beautiful.I then remember the nights we would lay out side for hours, just staring at the stars.Calling out the constellations and naming out own stars.Always being shined down on by our star, oh it was always so bright.Once beneath the stars, the universe was ours…love was all we knew, and all I knew was you.Then going inside, with our love shining, and bringing both our loves in my bed. When we make love planets and cosmos collide and form new galaxies and star constellations.And when the morning comes I always awoke to your smile.Your smile lit up my day, made all my worries go away.The kind of smile you could never look away from and always noticed.It was the smile that is on the girl that when she walks in lights up the room.But lately I’ve been walking for miles upon miles, just once last time to see you smile.I know what I want; I used to have it in my arms every night.Our problem was we loved each other too much so young.We found our star too early, but the forces will never stop pulling.It doesn’t matter what I do, what job I have, who I am with, where I am at, or how happy I think I am…I still don’t have you.I think the world of you, all my heart I do, I fill my veins of you, and you have all of me.In high tide or a low tide, I will always be by your side.You know I wasn’t a believer in much of anything before I met you.To meet someone as amazing, wonderful and beautiful as you, I had to believe in a God.I thanked God every day for bringing us together and I still do thank God.Now I believe in myself, and most of all I believe in you.I thank you, before we met I was merely a little boy, and you turned me into a man.
Time and time again we leave each other for someone else, but no one else can seem to fill the void that the other leaves.We are each others hearts, souls, we are each others everything… I love you more than anyone else can ever love you.I wish I could put my fingers on what is so special about you, but I can’t.I can’t ever seem to put it into words no matter how many of these blogs and stories I seem to write.How you always leave me breathless every time you cross my mind.I loved you before I met you, and fell in love with you the day that I saw you.You were the cutest most energetic girl I have ever seen.When we first met I knew I had to be with you.It was that fateful evening at the Sports barn where I fell in love with you.There I was minding my own business, listening to my iPod and you came trotting along your merry way, but for some reason you stopped looked at me and smiled.Right then and there I felt my heart drop from my chest to my feet, you left me paralyzed for everyone to see.Was this fate? Perhaps destiny? Or was it a curse… You came up to me with your sparkling green blue eyes with your beautiful shining white smile, and luscious body.I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by you, you were everything I knew I wanted and everything I knew I couldn’t live without.I kept thinking to myself, our stars must have crossed paths, the kind of Romeo and Juliet star struck.That had to be it, otherwise why else would I feel this way?Why else would I be so enticed to follow her, get her name, get her number, things I have never done before.I knew from this point on time was of the essence.The minimal hours that I spent with you are more than worth the thousands of hours spent without you.The time I would never give back for the world, and the times that I shall never forget.As a lily among thorns, so is my love for you, as an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my beloved among others… There are so many trees in the world today, but you…you my darling were that rare apple tree that once you get a taste of everything else in the world seems so miniscule so insignificant.The certain special something that people go their whole lives wishing they had, but never find.You see it wasn’t that you were this super woman, this unbelievable super girl that everyone has to have…no you were more like the lily in the thorns to most people, nobody ever sees the lily because it’s hidden by the rough exterior of thorns, but when you break through those thorns…you find the rarest of the rare apple trees…
You said you didn’t love me, you said we had no spark left between us.That out of nowhere the Flames of hell had been burning inside of you and leading you astray.You, yourself turned into the demon and covered up every bit of it.I told you, I pleaded with you…telling you that you are making the biggest mistake of your life.I spilled my heart to you, gave you roses, and wrote you love poems and stories but that wasn’t good enough.A woman loves you for whom you are, a demon loves you for what you give them and what you have.I gave you the world as often as I could, but you always had my heart and soul.Now you will wish you would have treated me better, wished you would have touched me, kissed me more… you could never admit you were wrong and made me take the fall.I told you it was a mistake but you turned away and laughed.The flames of hell came out of you and you showed me why no one will ever want to be with you.The fires consumed you, devoured your beautiful heart and soul.I watched you be destroyed, became evil, and became all that you hated in me.Now I have always wanted my tattoo of saint Michael, the slayer of demons protector from evil, but now I want it for 2 reasons, for God, whom sent his only son to die for my sins. He gave his whole life; the least I can do is give a piece of my body.However the new addition to the list is to keep me from turning into you.So these my last words to you, I loved you, you had all of me, one day…one day you’ll realize it’s no game and your too late…
Like the leaves that fade and die in the fall, is my love for you. Like the flower that buds in the spring, is my life without you. So much has come and gone our way, thank God I didn’t look back that day. Free…Free as the dove in the sky, or like the wind as it passes you by. The sea air blowing through my hair, taking with it, the things you made me bare. So many thoughts running through my head, while laying awake along in my bed. I see me at a distant high up place, looking at all the burdens I had to face. Climb down to start all my future plans, got so sick of giving to stay in good stands. Our chapter is over and has been written, thank God it’s not you I’ll be getting. I tore our chapter up and shredded it for fun, like having one of those beautiful days in the sun. You used to be my sun, my light, but now your done, try as you might. If you were life, I’d rather end my own strife, in the most miserable way could, it’d still be better than making us good. Better women just keep flowing my way, like mississippi river into the Gulf bay. Like an all you can eat buffet, so many around for me to play. But I didn’t have to look far, so easily I found one that tops your bar, like a plane flying over a clover. It’s not hard for women now to beat the bar you set, they ask me about you then realize you are no threat, cuz no one matters to you but you, once again thank God we are through. It wasn’t easy to trust women again, but I fought through the pain, and now I found my shining star that lights my world, how amazing she is has me swirled, twirled, slowly building our new world. Yesterday I felt like I could die, but today I know I can fly. Like angels in the heavens in the clouds, free as a bird knowing limitless bounds. The train has left you are too late, this vacant building has closed it’s gate. Now that you missed the train, something finally clicked in your brain. dont worry baby, dont shed a tear, since you left me, you have your fear. You knew the circumstances and consequences, now that I’m gone the feeling of stupidity enhances. You were my princess I was your prince, too bad I’ve done nothing but regret you since. The sun has set over the horizon past your face, and the winds have given me a new breathe thanks to God’s grace. And I have no one to thank but me for finally being free. I wake up every morning with this new fate, knowing I didn’t get rid of you too late. But this feeling brings me down to my knees and brings me to tears, knowing I got rid of you and all my fears. This feeling of being reborn is quite anew, thank God I finally got rid of you.
Okay well you know the guy that plays Hades on Disney’s hercules? You know how he talks how he goes off on random long tangents where he will get really quiet and speak really fast then suddenly stop and go on another tangent? Well I wrote it like that for him.
Like from up in the heavens, flying and befriending the angels, came you down from the clouds.
What happens if you and your true loves stars cross right at that exact same time? Like I am talking about and the exact perfect time for both you and your true loves stars cross at the exact same time! Im talking about perfect time to fall in love with the perfect person for you to fall in love with… BAM Now that’s what I call true love. Now if you can imagine how perfect that is, that’s what I have been trying to tell you what we had. And you know what I have concluded from myself and my studies? True love never works out, not because there’s not enough love no no nooah. But because you both think its too surreal and fake, that you just get uncomfortable, you think no one single soul can ever have this great of a love for some one, so then that normally causes the girl to panic or think too much and she ends being the stupid one putting it off then putting it off then at the worst possible time she could say it she says…. “I dont love you anymore”. And that shatters your heart and breaks you down. You feel like you have to throw up that you cant walk, you cant stand you cant breathe!!! You black out and find yourself doing stupid things so you wont remember or so youre body cant feel your heart pain, which is really stupid because that part of your heart is emotional so there for psychological so therefor your brain. Now shouldnt you do something to make your brain not feel the pain? But noooo ho nooo nothing for you to numb your mind enough without killing yourself, cuz you dont wanna kill yourself, just numb the pain. But you cant numb the pain, so then you start thinking….Hmmm how can I get back with her….Hmmm….how can I get back AT her. First you try to get back with her, you do something totally amazing that any other girl would marry you right on the spot for doing. But nope instead of even a I love you I want to work this out to be together you get a “I said I dont love you anymore, there’s no spark.” So then you start thinking, what the hell I thought theres was spark, the sex was still great and the cuddling and how often we touched each other was still great and happened all the time. So how could the spark leave? But then you start thinking what if you dont turn her on anymore what if she has been sleeping with someone else cuz you cant get the job done anymore, what if that while you were fucking her she was pretending you were always someone else? But then you think, well why would she fuck me then? Why carry herself through that? Oh yeah thats right you suddenly remember your housemate telling you that all women crave dick that they only do it with the people they care about. So this explains the reason to now she wants to come over and fuck me after or before she goes on dates with these other guys, and the reason why she keeps trying to stay in contact and intouch with me every couple days or weeks she goes in spurts, always try to figure out how I have been and what I am up to…Thats why she has done all of this, is because she still loves me! Yes yes that has to be it I cant think of any other possible, hhmph logical reason too. So she still loves me but yet turns me down when everyone else would die to have me even though I cant have them because I love her. So now I cant go and be ready to meet any other good enough people or my true love again. At least however eventually I can get dates and be ready to move on and meet someone anew and love them and marry them, but never have the love of that one special girl. However the women, they can move on right away most of the time being a whore and dating like 6 guys all at the same time, they makeout with all of them blow most of them and sleep with a few of them, but none of the guys know what the other does with it, see some reason women do this to feel better about themselves when really they are just being used for sex. But then after that stage they realize that they cant go on without their true love that it was true love that no one could tear them apart and they were finally she knew that they were meant to be together! She goes to contact him, find him cause she knew this was the right one, that she is finally going to be the same way she is about each other and how happy to be together again, but when she meets the guy again she is too late, he already has a wife, a big house, great job, and even kids! She cant believe that he was able to move on even though he could but couldnt. So she either goes one or two ways, way number she leaves crying and drives herself into a deep depression, prob loads of angry sex, drinking and drug use, always feeling sry for herself and always I mean always praying and wish that she was just living in a bad dream, living in her hell. But she isnt living in either…yet. Now way number two is she just cant believe I could move on so well, that knew for a fact when she looks into your eyes that she love him and he loves her he just smarted up and got logical. But she however couldnt and now it’s war, to get her true love back, She tries to be your friend for awhile then go out for a few times and get you in awkwardly close situations for sexual encounters cuz even though from all the sex that her pussy is not like what he remembers she is hoping that it is and that the sex was as good as it used to be even though unfortinately she was still a 5 minute wonder and now since her pussy was so bad from what you remember it takes you hours to get off, or you cant get off and then you get pissed while she is left happy even thought she didnt learn any new moves it was still all you and her sucking ass. Or you have to take care of it yourself which makes her feel even worse because she knew she really fucked up and then you see her crying and that brings everything back to you and then you start crying holding each other and cuddling then you end up spending the night together and then you end up eventually sleeping together again and its more magical that it ever used to be because of everything built up inside both of you. But then as the you are getting ready to leave you tell her that you just cant do anything, that you have a family, kids, good job, everything that you always wanted and that she had her chance a long time ago and it took him years of torture without her to be able to find someone new that could take care of him cuz his true love couldnt. You say that she should have never done that too you cuz you had to watch her move on and hook up with other people you knew which she did on purpose. You tell her that you just cant be with her now, that you are too happy and she doesnt deserve you after the pain that she put you through. She starts to cry even louder and gets my hysterical but she cant help it, she was so happy about being back with her love her one true love that she pictured how finally how perfect everything is gonna be and she had that in her heart growing over the months the years and just hearing this she couldnt believe it, it was like taking a piece of life from her and it kills her on the inside and becomes a soul less object for use by others. And you go back to your family and go back to being like nothing ever happened…So this just proves my point that true loves never ever I mean never work out. Its just not possible there is too much love and emotions, it’ll never work out so plz my friend if you feel like that from the start bail early before you have half of your life ruined and never ever be able to love fully again. Before you know something too good to be true then all the rest are nothing but a test, a test to see if you were wrong about her being your true love, but you are proven that no other one can take her place…BUT! if you find one good enough you are able to fully love her in a different connection, possibly a better one, not stronger but a better one for you. You become happy, the turns to happier then it turns to you dont remember how happy she made you and you just become so infatuated with the new woman in your life that you dont realize she ever existed but then she comes back into yourlife and ruins the rest of it cuz it brings back those old happy and love memories but you start to think logically and realize that life goes on, through high and lows longs and wides. That it just goes on, if you are alive or if you are dead. Which brings me back to my point bail early if you ever see this happening or feel what I described, because then you wont be destroyed so find yourself a girl not like this but close enough one that you will fall in love with marry and possible have kids and good life with, find her instead of your true love, because yes my friend true love never works out…
God must have hated me, and Satan must have loved me…because for two tiresome years they brought you into my life and kept you there. God turned his back on me and hell was waiting with open arms to put me through the torture of being with someone like you. I was taken into the pits of burning hell and that’s were I met you… You took me in, took care of me, loved me, screwed me, blew me, kept me up and going, but at the time I needed you most you turned into this evil demon running off with another spawn of hell and turning into a monster and ripping me apart from limb to limb. Although I was ripped apart and felt like I couldn’t go on any further I turned to God and said “What more do you want?! What more must I do to find peace?!” Then the clouds disappeared and along with hell so did memories of you. I did it! I passed the test I finally found my peace of mind and heart, better yet I found my heaven. Like as if I was in Dante’s Inferno, I had to go through my hell, to get to my heaven and oh the rewards are still unfathomable and overwhelming at times, but I made it. That hell is long behind and gone, but like all temptations “it” randomly grabs you for a quick second when you see “it”, but other than that “it” just remains a nightmare that you felt like you could never wake up from…but finally did. No matter if “it’s” right there at the same place you are staring you down, because you are happy, because you are without “it” anymore yet happier, better off, and with someone that blows your mind… “it” will always remain the raunchy, revolting, loathe-some creature from the spawns of hell…
This is a letter to an old friend…May this letter guide you amongst your ways through relationships and life and may you be with the one you ever most desire.
Listen my friend, don’t give up. I know you said some mean things and I know he did too, but dont take those to heart for they weren’t meant to be said. They were said from anger and hate and that which makes the most pure blind. Then again so does lust, so be truthful on your decision, do you just lust after him or do you love him? If you lust after him stay away, if you love him, run to him, tell him you’re sorry, that you’ve changed because I’m sure he has too. See being apart makes you change into someone better (most of the time), makes you realize your mistakes and without a thought you instantly begin to correct them. So run to him, embrace him, say you are sorry for how you treated him, but most of tell him that you love him. Let him know that you are his and if he loves you which from what you have told me I am almost certain he still does, he will embrace you as if you are loving again for the first. Move on together from what was said and what was done for now you both know you can’t live without each other. Don’t try to piss him off or annoy him with things you do and say, instead text him, call him, just talk with him and you will have his undivided attention. Before you make your decision realize this, there will be no one like him, there probably wont be others that will do more for his love was like mine that I had. He would do anything for his girl, take a bullet for his girl, stand up for his girl, change for his girl. You must realize what love is, what it is like to have it good with a guy. Don’t keep expecting more and after each guy you will find better, because my dear after a love like that…there is no better. yeah there may be less stress, less fights and more freedoms, but what you dont understand is those all come with a relationship. If you want more freedoms from someone that loves you then give back, show he is the only guy in your world and he will trust you and let you do w/e it is you want. But break that trust and it’s back to square one. Keep in mind as well if he kept coming back to you but now you want him, HE LOVES YOU, don’t think twice, guys in our brains want to roam and have many girls, so if you find one guy that just wants you no matter how out of your class he is…keep him because he will make you the happiest woman in the world…
Cut the skin to the bone, fall asleep all alone. Hear your voice in the dark, loose myself in your eyes chuck voice and goodnight as the world falls apart. Fuck i cant let this kill me, let go, i need some more time to fix this. Heres a letter for you but the words get confused and the conversation dies. Apologize for the past, toxic shit take it back, are we cursed to this life? Im talkin to the ceilin, my life just lost all meanin’, do one thing for me tonight, im dying in your silence… This star left in heaven, is falling down to earth and do you still the same when…do you still feel the same when…? Where are you? And I’m so sorry, I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight, I need somebody and always. This sick strange darkness, comes creeping on so haunting everytime. This Vacation’s useless, these white pills aren’t kind. I’ve give a lot of thought on this non-stop drive. I miss the mountain biking where we went crazy till late. And at home slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights. I’ve given a lot of thought to the nights we used to have. The days have come and gone, our lives together went by so fast. I faintly remember breathing on my bedroom floor, where I laid and told you, but you swear you loved me more. Do you care if I don’t know what to say? Will you sleep tonight, or will you think of me? Will I shake this off…pretend it’s all okay? That there’s someone out there who feels just like me? Those notes you wrote me, I’ve kept them all. I’ve given thought of how to write you back this fall, with every single letter in every single word, there will be a hidden message about a boy that love a girl. Breathing deeply, walking backwards, finding strength to call and ask her. Roller coast, favorite ride, let me kiss you one last time. Leave me standing here, act like I’m not around. The coast will probably never clear, can I please go home now? I had that dream about you again, where I wait outside until you let me in, and there I stay…
Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say, from each other.
Even lover's need a holiday far away from each other.
Hold me now.
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.
I just want you to stay.
After all that we've been through,
I will make it up to you. I promise to.
And after all that's been said and done,
You're just the part of me I can't let go.
Couldn't stand to be kept away just for the day from your body.
Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love.
Hold me now.
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.
I just want you to know.
Hold me now.
I really want to tell you I'm sorry.
I could never let you go.
After all that we've been through,
I will make it up to you. I promise to.
And after all that's been said and done,
You're just the part of me I can't let go.
After all that we've been through,
I will make it up to you. I promise to.
You're gonna be the lucky one.
Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Reflected in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you
Think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams
Once the world was new
Our bodies felt the morning dew
That greets the brand new day
We couldn't tear ourselves away
I wonder if you care
I wonder if you still remember
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams
And when the music plays
And when the words are
Touched with sorrow
When the music plays
I hear the sound
I had to follow
Once upon a time
Once beneath the stars
The universe was ours
Love was all we knew
And all I knew was you
I wonder if you know
I wonder if you think about it
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams
And when the music plays
And when the words are
Touched with sorrow
When the music plays
And when the music plays
I hear the sound
I had to follow
Once upon a time
Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Mirrored in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you
Think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams...
Newest song for my stop motion agenda…
When moonlight crawls along the street
Chasing away the summer heat
Footsteps outside somewhere below
The world revolves I let it go
We build our church above this street
We practice love between these sheets
The candy sweetness scent of you
It bathes my skin I'm stained by you
And all I have to do is hold you
There's a racing in my heart
I am barely touching you
[Chorus]
Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable
The moonlight plays upon your skin
A kiss that lingers takes me in
I fall asleep inside of you
There are no words
There's only truth
Breathe in Breathe out
There is no sound
We move together up and down
We levitate our bodies soar
Our feet don't even touch the floor
And nobody knows you like I do
The world doesn't understand
But I grow stronger in your hands
Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable
We never sleep we're always holdin' hands
Kissin' for hours talkin' makin' plans
I feel like a better man
Just being in the same room
We never sleep there's just so much to do
Too much to say
Can't close my eyes when I'm with you
Insatiable the way I'm loving you
Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable
This is for someone special in my life, but before you go thinking it’s you, remember if you did the heartbreaking, if at all to me then you will know if it’s for you or not…
My heart was broken
Many times before
But I never stoped
So it broke some more
Everytime I try to love
My heart was up high
But it always break somehow
Whenever somebody says goobye
But then that faithful day came
The day you came to my life
I knew you were the perfect one
I will marry and be my wife
Now that were together
We will never be apart
Cause you picked up the pieces
Of my broken heart
The faithful day I will never forget
Is the day that still stays true
A day is very special to me
The day I found you!
Are you there God? Or am I as alone as I feel tonight? Is my mind playing tricks on me again, or am I cursed to this life, this life of solitude and desperation. I feel as if I am falling through the leap of faith I took, and landed in the reservoir of bittersweet beginnings, and I am drowning for I feel I will never be able to reach the surface again. I am running out of strength, of air, of the will to see this through, is this all to blame because of you? So this is what it feels like when there is no light, so this is what it feels like when there is no warmth, no love…The numbness I am in is unfathomably overwhelming and fierce. This pain I feel is uncontrollable and dark, but God do I feel so alive. Is this how everyone feels to know their own existence? Or am I just cursed to this life? This life of wandering alone, like a hopeless lost soul that has lost its way. Please God tell me, show me I will live to see a better day. Time goes on, and time passes by for lately I feel I have lost all my chances. All my chances for hope, peace, love and happiness. As if I am there standing at the river of Styx reading the sign that is telling me “Abandon all hope here” for I feel I have lost it all. But then again what was mine to take, and what was mine to keep? I guess I took it all for granite and I abused what good has come to me. For this I will for ever pay the price but God please wont you help me end this strife? Will you save me, help me from the clenches of evil? For I feel as if I will not make this one without your helping hand to see me through. Or am I just another one of your self sacrificing martyrs, used by your hands to teach lessons and die in your name? Or am I just the common man, who has been stricken down, and tortured for your amusement? I hope I do it for you, I hope I give you enough sick pleasure to last you centuries for no one deserves to feel the way I feel. No one on earth deserves to bleed as much as I bleed. Not even Judas nor your fallen son. No, I wish this upon no man, no woman, no thing that is living. Or have you forgotten about me? Which leads me to the question, why God? Why have you forsaken me? Was it something I said, or was it something I did? Are you still up there, or have you the all mighty gone on vacation? Perhaps you are just sitting up there watching me as your fallen son beats me into the ground and strips me clean of what little faith and hope I have left. Or maybe I’m not important enough for you to even care? Never have I felt so cold, like I have already died without knowing and am residing in the deepest catacombs of Hell frozen in darkest of dungeons never to see your light of day again. What must I do to break these chains that hold me down. I have done what has been asked of me, why must I be the new one to bare this crown? When will I get my wings and fly amongst the heavens again? Please God tell me that the good life will soon begin again…
